COBBLESTONE LIFE

Our family is no stranger to vacations and road trips. We started traveling with our crew from the beginning and as we continued to add to our brood, we were forced to accommodate. While we are currently past "baby mode" we still live in the world that includes a High School, Middle School, Intermediate, and Elementary School aged children. This can be challenging at times but keeping our ultimate goal in mind is key to accomplishing a fun family getaway. What is our ultimate goal? Quite simply, it is to always be together. For you, it may be different. So, determining your ultimate goal is important before you leave for a trip. Then, plan accordingly! We do a lot of outdoor family activities. No joke, A-LOT! We choose these types of vacations and adventures for a variety of reasons: we strive to create a love of God's creation with our children, it's cheap, we always see something new, and it forces us to talk and be together. We have been been participating in outdoor hiking, biking, strolling, walking and exploring since my hubby and I began dating so our memories and love of the outside has only grown as we have expanded our hiking and cultural awareness from our own city to varied states and countries. Hikes and walks have included the city, the country, the mountains, trails, parks, creeks, caves, and anywhere we can explore. Your choices are endless! *Tip Alert* First off, if you are vacationing/traveling while you have a little one, baby wearing is my favorite! I mean, you can totally do a stroller if you travel somewhere with accommodating streets but wearing your baby is something you can do most anywhere you go. I had a friend hand down an Ergo (this is my preferred baby carrier; however, there are many different brands and options. This is not a commercial or paid ad for this particular brand) when I was pregnant with my fourth girlie and she was able to fit and ride snugly until she was four! My life was made so much easier while having three other girls to take care of. Taking your kids interests into consideration is important when traveling; however, you cannot underestimate creating cultural awareness with their fun. For instance, our kids like many others, love theme parks, movies, and things geared to keep them interested. Instead of taking them to a theme park featuring pirate rides, we enriched this interest by taking them to a pirate museum which allowed our kids to read different pirate information, participate in interactive activities, have a scavenger hunt, and were offered a prize at the end of a completed hunt. They had so much fun! From the 6 year old to the 17 year old, we got raving reviews. Did I mention we do prizes even for the most mundane of activities too? My husband understands that not every activity we do will thoroughly interest every age group so we add a bit of fun by offering our kids a prize for different quests such as keeping an eye out for castles while driving four hours across Europe. For spotting a castle first, the child earned one Euro to spend. Finding a bear would earn you 5$ when we were in Yellowstone and spotting a snake earns quite the penny when traipsing through our own stomping grounds since this is a safety first issue for our area. Now that I've spilled some tips, lets take an additional look at some important things we keep in mind while vacationing and traveling with your family. 10 things we use as a rule of thumb for our vacations 1. We try not to separate We had a vacation in which two of our kids could participate on some waterslides while the other two children could not. My husband and I spent most of our vacation being split between attractions which made for a very split vacation and some unhappy parents. Making memories as a family means you need to put a priority on keeping the family together more than just at dinner and breakfast. Try to stay together as much as you possibly can, it makes the trip more meaningful and promotes sibling bonding. 2. We try to hit a happy medium with interest levels Even if something may not interest a child, find a bit of history or an animal that may. For instance, we visit many historical sights because it interests me, my husband, and at least one or two of the children. Before we go, I will do a bit of research about a historical figurehead to tell to the kids as we go so that they can find it a bit more interesting. We have also made sure that if we pick an activity which is hard for one child, that we pick an evening activity/meal that appeals to their taste. For instance, ending the evening at the hotel pool after a hot hike may put a cool ending to a hard day for a child. 3. We make sure each child feels special no matter the venue When hiking, my hubby and I try to take a moment to walk individually with each child. When walking through the streets of a city, I try to walk and talk about the scenery with each child, when we went to a theme park I took a ride with one child while he waited in line with the others (I said we try not to separate but sometimes it is needed). Allowing each child individual time with each parent helps them to be heard, be seen, and feel appreciated. 4. We make sure everyone is well rested If we drive all night, we make sure everyone can sleep in. When we travelled out West, many days were 12 hour driving days (yep, my hubby is a beast!) so sleeping in the next day was a must in order to have happy kids and that goes for all ages; adults included! 5. Take the weather into consideration if you plan to be outdoors Since our most recent big trip was across the United States, I will use this trip as an example. The weather in the Western states was at its extreme during our time from June and into July. Because of this, forecasters suggested any outdoor activities be done from 6-9am or 3-9pm. Taking this into consideration, we chose to sleep each day, eat a large leisurely breakfast, leave at 12pm (yep, they were typically 3 hours away from our location) and do our National Park tours starting at 3pm in order to heed the heat warnings. Taking weather into consideration is important to your family's enjoyment unless you are participating in an indoor activity. 6. Pack snacks and water in your car or travelling packs Hungry children are ill children and this also accounts for adults so keeping something to nibble on while out and about is important for good attitudes and continued interest. 7. Plan for meals On the note of food, be prepared for meal times. Figure out if you should take packed lunches or if there will be available venues to eat from. This is especially important if you have a child with food allergies, a medical condition, or specific food preferences. We have been in a number of places in which there was not the ability to purchase cooked food. We planned in advance with packed lunches but have also stopped by grocery stores to purchase fresh fruit, crackers, and other instant edible items. 8. Make sure your family activity allows access to your age groups While I understand that families may need to separate for a moment or two due to a ride or activity; however, checking the website of your chosen activity for age appropriateness is advised. For example, horseback riding is typically a fun activity for all ages, requires a waiver, and allows for family bonding. For most places; however, children under certain age ranges are not allowed even with an accompanying parent. The same goes for white water rafting, canoeing, tubing, skiing, etc. These are considered unsafe activities for babies even if they are worn by a parent. Check websites and make a call if they are unclear. It is better to check than to be turned away once you arrive. 9. Allow your kids to look at your destination in advance and vote/discuss approved family options If your children are old enough, giving them a say in your activities can give them something to look forward to. Each year we take a trip to the same beach. On day one of the trip, we sit at the breakfast table and map our our week together. Our typical activities involve a biking day, beach days, participating in one of the local state park's activities, pool day, and shopping day. Each year is a bit different but every child gets a voice and at least one activity is planned for each interest and age. Mind you, the beach is an easy place to entertain everyone. 10. Make a souvenir/spending limit for each child Yeah, I know this sounds silly; but, if you go through a gift shop, walk through a tourist town, or attend an attraction, every child will get the "gimmies" at some point. Sellers know they can get you to spend more money by attracting your kids. In order to combat this, we incentivize our kids to think about what they want to purchase, if really need it, and how they will use said item. We incentivize by giving them a spending limit in advance or making them use their own money. Then, we stick with our decision. It can be hard for parents to limit their children because parents want their kids to have the best experience possible; however, more stuff does not equal a better event. The memories you make and the places you introduce to your children are what your kids will remember most. Do you have some key things you keep in mind when travelling with your kids? Do you have multiple age groups in your family? Drop me a comment on your life experiences with multiple age groups and don't forget to join the site! I would love to hear from you. And to give you a peak into some of our family fun, I have made the following video for you!

The beginning of our family is not a common one. My relationship with my husband began in high school while he was a foreign exchange student and although our story is an amazing one to tell, I will have to leave the details for a later time. Our beginnings; however, did shape the decision to host a foreign exchange student later in our lives. We made the decision to host and become family to someone from a foreign country because we wanted to give a student the chance to experience what my husband was given many years before: a phenomenal year in the U.S.A. We made the decision to host early in our marriage; however, we decided to put off the process until our children were older so they could fully enjoy and experience getting to know a person at their age level. It was a goal we held to and saw come to realization 17 married years later. Our oldest was 14 years old and entering her sophomore year of high school the following year when we began reading profiles for students. Needless to say, it was an exciting time! But let's back up a moment...how did we get to the profiles, how did we really begin? Great questions! Two years before we began hosting, my husband began his research into hosting organizations. We were determined to find an organization that would be a dedicated advocate for both the host families and the students, have clear rules in place, and one that kept the safety and overall development of the students at upmost importance. These attributes started with the organization having a phenomenal online presence (i.e. website, social media, etc), great interactions with ambassadors and educational coordinators, and testimonials from students, host families, and parents. We looked into several organizations such as AFS, EF Exchange, International Student Exchange, and AYUSA. After careful searching, website scrolling, and calls, we decided to host through EF Exchange. One of the largest reasons why we chose this organization is because of one of the International Exchange Coordinators. His knowledge, attention to detail, and a large amount of resources for both students and families gave us peace of mind that the organization's dedication to the safety and welfare of students along with the compliance and peace within the host family was held to high standards. To start our process, we had an interview with, who would be, our future IEC (International Exchange Coordinator). We talked openly about our goals, hopes, and hesitations. We asked questions and became comfortable with the process of becoming a host family. Come to find out, it was quite simple. My husband and I (ok, more like just me) filled out a plethora of paperwork about our family and answered many important questions such as the names and ages of our children, what types of pets we had, what a typical day may look like in our family, the geography and population of our city, the school's name in which our student would potentially be attending, how many students attended the school, the chores we would expect of our student, ways we planned to handle conflict, allergies we may have, if we were religious and how many times we attended services, if we were open to LGBTQ persons, if we were open to other religions, and many more. The paperwork was simple because we know our family and open honest answers were all we were giving. It was exciting because we finished the paperwork with a letter to our potential student. Once we finished our paperwork, we had a house visit so that our IEC could evaluate our living situation and see where our student would stay. He took photos and we had a wonderful time chatting and drinking a glass of water together. Finally, we were allowed to look at student profiles online and were given a website that allowed for filtered searches including but not limited to gender, age, country, and half or full-year terms. We chose a girl, of European regions, and one who would be entering into her sophomore year. We also wanted to a full school term student. After viewing a few profiles, we narrowed our search down to two students. One student was a referral from our IEC and we found the other through the website. The decision was an easy one to make as we took into account all of our children's personalities and the type of city we live in. Our IEC's student recommendation originated from a large metropolitan city in Germany with easy access to public transportation, no siblings, and she was a vegetarian. Despite her charming personality, wonderful English, and great grades, we knew coming to an American home without public transportation to the big city, with four siblings, who eat a large amount of meat, and live in a very small city might be too much of a culture shock for her. Instead we went for a student who had common outdoor interests with our family, came from a small town so as to consider our city different but not too much a culture shock, and was hoping to have a family with animals. We were a perfect match! EF Exchange filed the necessary paperwork with the local school system and it all became a waiting game to see if the school would accept our student based on how many students had applied, what grade level, and what country. Each school system is different in their requirements such as how many foreign exchange students they will accept but others have further requirements such as ours which will not allow two students from the same country to be enrolled in the same grade level. If you have questions about local school requirements, contact your local Board of Education. Our Board of Education accepts students starting in February so once the acceptance was official we were told the match with our student was a success! Now we had to wait 2-3 days for the Exchange program to contact the student and give them the good news before we could contact them. It only took our student 24 hours to learn of our choice and she emailed us promptly. According to our student, having a family pick you is an amazing day unlike any other. You (as a student) fill out tons of paperwork and then wait to see if you are chosen. To find out you are wanted by another family based on your paperwork is an absolute dream come true. Our student's name is Lia, she is from Switzerland, and we spoke with her as soon as we could arrange a full family meeting which allowed for the time difference to not be a problem for both families. We met via the WhatsApp app and video chatted. We were able to give her a tour of our home, introduce her to our animals, and chat as much as strangers can. It was nice to be given time to get to know Lia as much as we could over messages and video calls before her arrival in July. It really broke the ice and allowed us to become a part of her life before we became her American family. The process to become a host family to a foreign exchange student is super easy and very rewarding if you diligently look for a child who will mesh well in your family. Hosting does not pay in monetary rewards but in lifelong relationship rewards and offers you a chance to learn about a new culture while sharing yours. Lastly, hosting a student fulfills a lifelong dream most of these students have had their entire lives. Take the time to consider if you would like to host a student, you will have a new son or daughter for a lifetime. Finally, if you have any questions about the process of hosting or any reservations you may have, feel free to leave a comment. Simply login as a member to leave a comment and subscribe to receive your free ebook from yours truly.

Teenagers are fickle things dealing with raging hormones, changing bodies, and developing minds. Most of the time, they are unsure of what they want in life and stay in a constant state of unfulfilled wishes as they battle this uncertainty. Meanwhile, others know exactly what they want in life and are frustrated when they are unable to attain it due to age, maturity level, parental rules, and the like. All of these thought of "wants" and "desires" can be but are not always helpful or advantageous. What do we do when the attitude of a raging teenager strikes? The first thing and most important thing is to keep calm. Am I a perfect example of this? No, I cannot say I have always kept my calm; however, I can promise that the hearts and attitude of my children have not changed when I have acted out of emotion. In fact, it has instead, forced them on the defensive, frustrated them further, and validated the notion that I would not listen. When I have taken their attitude just as I would if I was listening to the local weatherman, sat them down, truly listened, and spoken with them, I can hear their heart and they can hear mine. The key thing is to listen. It is important that you seek to understand before seeking to be understood. Sometimes they listen to reason and sometimes they don't; however, keeping calm is the key to offering them the respect you expect in return. Proverbs 15:15 states: "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Keep calm, and address your child with facts and not emotions unless it is to tell them how much you love them. Showing them unconditional love despite their poopy attitude will keep your relationship strong long after they move out because, no, they are not cute little kids stealing cookies out of the cookie jars. Instead, these cute kids turned into adult looking, loud mouthed, opinion speaking, independence seeking teenagers...which leads us to the second key element. To deal with a teenager's attitude, you need to have clear firm consistent guidelines and consequences. Hopefully, you began your parenting with clear guidelines and consequences when your child was little and followed through as they grew up because starting this process when they are teenagers is sure to be met with rebellion and frustration. Each family is different with their rules. In my family of seven, my children are required to help with household chores, call us while they are out to keep us up updated, always tell the truth, be kind to their siblings, and limit their screen time. To break these rules means our child will face consequences. For each family and for each child, consequences can be different. There is everything from extra chores, grounding, to loss of privileges. The most important thing; however, is to have your children's hearts. When they mess up, they need to have consistent consequences while also knowing they are loved. My kids know they are loved by me deeply. They do not always agree with my choices nor do they enjoy everything I ask them to do; however, they trust that I have their wellbeing in mind when they are asked to follow certain guidelines, expected to behave in a certain way, or fulfill a particular responsibility. When I am met with their obstinance, a conversation or family meeting is typically all we need to have. I allow them to vent their frustrations in a calm and respectful way just as they are expected to listen to me as well. Sometimes we find a resolution and sometimes they are still expected to comply with something they are not thrilled about. In the end; however, their knowledge of my love for them is what drives them to obey. I encourage you to pray through your journey of teenage hood. It is so rewarding to watch your child blossom from a helpless being to an independent contributor of society. It is equally as scary. Trusting God to take care of your child is crucial for your peace of mind and your relationship with Christ is vital for your relationship with your children. I heavily lean on my Savior as I parent. Who better to consult then the one who made them?! I would love to hear other pieces of advice you may have for raising teenagers and what to do when they have an attitude.. Simply login as a member to comment and subscribe here to get the latest updates and messages from yours truly! I look forward to reading your teenager advice! Happy parenting!